Turning Back
by concha
Summary: Malia knows that Stiles love Lydia, she sees it in his eyes - but she loves him too much to hold him back. - A Stalia/Stydia fic, i read things saying stydia would break apart stalia and i needed to prepare myself, so i wrote this oneshot! I am not a Stydia shipper, but i am scared for what Jeff might do


_I own none of this. All rights belong to Teen-Wolf. _

_So I wrote this because I am terrified of Stydia ending Stalia, so this is my way of coping I guess…_

***One Shot***

**_Malia's POV_**

Standing behind the bookcases of the school Library I can hear Stiles whispering to Lydia, I have been hiding here for the past half an hour, looking through the shelves to watch them laughing and talking together over their "Study period". Of course I am jealous, she is gorgeous, shining eyes, long red ringed hair, they have a history and she has grown up in his world. Why wouldn't he want to be with a girl who understands being human? Why on earth would he want to be with me?

I mean I like him and I thought he liked me but watching them here now looking into each other's eyes I know there is anyone else in the entire world that matters to him when she is in the room. I am trying to keep my breathing in check, I'm trying to focus on his heart beat and his voice to hear what they are saying but I can never focus unless he is right next to me, with his hands on my face and his lips a touch away. But he is over there with her, their faces only a breath apart and I can smell their nervous anticipation, he whispers something nervously and she smiles.

Then she leans in. And they are kissing, my heart is pushing its way up my throat and my claws are digging into the books.

I need to get out of here before I change and cause a scene I don't want Stiles to know I'm here I know he will feel guilty enough for leading him on or whatever people call it. I'm dashing out of the library as fast as my feet can carry me, bursting through the busy hallways pushing past a concerned Scott and Kira, pushing myself out onto the Lacrosse field, running laps at my top speed to try and clear my head.

My claws are retracting on my 5th lap and by the 13th my eyes are no longer glowing so I settle myself on the bleachers to try and collect myself. Breathe Malia. _Breathe. Focus on something. _The smell of grass, the comfort of my coyote fur, the laughter of my friends, Stiles… _Stiles_. No Malia don't do that to yourself. You don't deserve him. He deserves happiness Malia, not a wild half girl. He needs someone intelligent, someone who will understand him and doesn't have to be taught how to be a normal person.

Jesus. I love him. Why did I let this happen? You knew this wasn't going to last Malia, you aren't the kind of girl/coyote that sarcastic skinny boys fall in love with. They deserve to be happy Malia, not see you crying and being sad. You won't ever fit in the pack. You aren't one of them. You need to go back to who you really are. I stand up, seeing Scott holding hands with Kira, Stiles and Lydia approaching the field calling my name, I turn and bolt into the woods. It'll be easier this way.

**_Stiles POV_**

"She ran this way, She looked really upset I think she went to the Lacrosse field to calm down" Scott said as I stepped out of the Library with Lydia by my side, I heard Malia's whimper as I leaned in to kiss Lydia – I knew she saw us.

I know it wasn't the right thing to do but I can't deny the connection I have with Lydia and now that she feels the same, I can't help but let myself be wrapped in her gorgeous smile. But that didn't mean that Malia didn't deserve an explanation, she means a lot to me and I really do like her – she is funny and clever with killer instincts, and I am just another person to hurt her.

So of course we go trying to find her, moving out of the school following Scott to the Lacrosse field, Lydia glances guiltily at me and I know she is feeling the same about what has happened.

"MALIA" "**MALIA" **_"MALIA!" _we yell, finally spotting her on the Lacrosse field bleachers, she sees us coming and runs into the woods behind her.

Before I even know what I am doing I am right behind her trying to catch up to her Coyote speed.

**_Malia POV_**

I know Stiles is following me, I can smell him. He is getting closer to where I am hiding pressed up against a tree with my legs curled in front of me. I don't really want to talk to him right now – but when I see his lanky figure jogging over I know its inevitable.

"What do you want Stiles?"

"Malia I wanted to apologize, I didn't mean, I didn't think that I … I um" Stiles stuttered

"Leave it Stiles okay? I get it you love her. Its obvious. I was stupid to let myself get attached." I sigh out, I can feel tears pulling at my eyes, I haven't cried since I changed back and I don't plan on starting now. I can't look at his face, but I know what it shows – regret, relief and guilt.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. You are an amazing person you know that?"

"Thanks Stiles, but I'm not. You deserve to be happy with her okay? I thought you were my mate, but I know your true mate is Lydia. I see it in your eyes when you look at her. I will not try and take you away from her" I am sobbing now and I can't stop it I am feeling my body tremble, not from tears but from the fight against my instinct to change I know I won't be able to for much longer.

"Malia, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know Stiles, it's okay. I don't think I belong in this human world anymore."

"Wait, you don't mean you are going to go back to be a Coyote!" Stiles stares at her shocked

I smile apologetically, trying to make my glowing eyes soften and I reach up to touch his face, trying to keep my claws away from his skin, and I take one last look into those deep brown eyes I love so much.

"Goodbye Stiles, Thank you for everything"

"Malia I –" But before he gets the chance to say another word I am a Coyote again. My skin is shaking into fur my legs and spine twisting into my normal form, I am breathing in the scent of my animal form. I can feel the earth in my claws, as I sprint away from the tall boy, hearing him call something I cannot understand.

Stiles. That's his name. Stiles. Goodbye Stiles.

I am home now. I am free- from heartbreak, from guilt, from everything.

I am Malia, I am a coyote and though I might be alone I will never forget who I was when I was human. I will not forget the pack – and I will not forget Stiles.

_Sorry for the feels I just needed to prepare myself I hope you like if you are a Stydia or a Stalia shipper or just a Teen Wolf fan..._

_Thankyou xx_


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